Today I wanted to write about the before and after of having the baby. I must say I had a very good pregnancy, when I look back on it, and after having heard others’ stories. I am just grateful that everything went well for me.
When I found out I was pregnant I was at 3 weeks. It was a surprise, we didn’t expect this at all. My husband and I couldn’t believe it, I did 3 pregnancy tests and I don’t think we believed it completely until we saw her for the first time when I had my 10-weeks scan.
During my pregnancy I had the typical symptoms, like morning sickness during the first 3 months, and after that I sometimes felt sick after eating, I also had a bad itch on my body and headaches sometimes. But nothing too serious.
Being pregnant was a beautiful experience, but I also worried about what was coming. I kept asking myself if I was going to be a good mother? Would I love her like everyone said? How was it going to be? You see, everyone is different and I was really happy to be having a baby, but I was worried and nervous that I wasn’t feeling as wonderful as other future mums that I knew at that moment. I was feeling very susceptible during my pregnancy and I doubted myself constantly. Many times I thought that I didn’t have that mother-feeling in me.
After my baby was born things changed. The beginning was really hard, you can’t prepare enough for the arrival. We read a lot and we thought we knew everything, but the reality is that you will learn when the baby arrives, everyday you would get to know your baby a little bit better. You will make mistakes but it’s normal. The first weeks were really hard because I had stitches, as I mentioned in my birth history, and I was in pain when I moved. It was uncomfortable, I didn’t sleep and I also felt tired all day ,so I felt like I wasn’t doing enough. I love her with all my heart but sometimes I didn’t know what to do. I would just cry together with her. You know you love your baby, but there are going to be moments when you think that you don’t know anything about your baby, she’s just a new little stranger in your life. Prepare yourself, you are going to cry a lot, it won’t matter if you’re not a person who cries a lot, during postpartum you are going to cry about the most absurd situations.
But it is all normal, you’re more hormonal, and a baby is a big change in your life. You will learn what your baby wants, why she cries and learn to live with the little one. Just enjoy every second of every moment. You’re not a bad mother if sometimes you feel like you cannot do it or if you just want to cry or rest, because there’s so much to do, and asking for help doesn’t mean that you are a failure. Sometimes you’d want to leave the house and not talk with anybody and that’s normal! Everybody talks about the wonderful things you go through during motherhood, but there are things that are difficult, that require time, you’re not going to be the same person and you have to get to know yourself again and that’s fine. Don’t forget to love yourself and to enjoy your new life. When time has passed I assure you that you are going to laugh about the past.